2004 Northwest Accreditation Review
Accreditation - Nevermore
By Dr. Kathleen Lukken
("With apologies to Edgar Allen Poe" - Kathleen)
Early in the school year dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of assessment lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my office door.
"Tis the President", I muttered, "tapping at my office door —
Only this and nothing more."
Open then I flung the door, and as I did, my heart did soar, for on his face, the President wore
A serious look as did thrill me - fill me - with unspoken terrors I had felt before.
So that now, to still the beating, of my heart, I said repeating,
"Tis just the President, come to see me, see me at my office door —
Perhaps he’s looking for the Provost, yes, —
This is it and nothing more."
Presently my soul grew stronger, hesitating then no longer,
"Sir", I said, "what pleasant task brings you to my office door? You see,
I was deeply thinking, my eyes were barely blinking, when you rapped upon my door."
He spoke one word, the word I hated, for I knew that I was fated,
Fated for yet another chore. He spoke one word —
Merely this and nothing more.
Deep into my computer peering, long I sat there, wondering, fearing,
Not believing what I was hearing, from the President at my door.
Surely I had been mistaken, so I held my breath, my body shaking.
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token
And the only word there spoken — "accreditation,"
Silence then and nothing more.
Back into my office turning, with my stomach all a’churning, I scarce knew what to do.
From that one word — accreditation — I faced the future with trepidation. But
Nothing more did the President say, he left my office, went on his way.
And so now, I stand before you, to ask you, beg you, and implore you,
To work on one more task before you,
Accreditation — and so much more.